I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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