the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
