It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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