but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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