Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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