I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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