That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
