it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
