I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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