the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
