help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
