he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
