So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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