you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just want to make out with him forever
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
