i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
