so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
