Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
