yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Little spoons don't ask big questions
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize