She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize