But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm at about main and main street
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
