In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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