So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
