Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
