I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
