she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
