Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
