There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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