also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
