you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My liver just had a heart attack.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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