the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We need to rekindle our bromance
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
