Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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