it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
