Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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