Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
