is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
