He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
