I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
