it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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