I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
