Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
