she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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