I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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