Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
3pm strippers are depressing
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
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