Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
