She is in my trunk
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
