i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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