oh god the rape fog is back!
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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