I want to have your abortion
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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