there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
