"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
