So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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