Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
