Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
