Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
