i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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