What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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