Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize