we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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