i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
