felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
