You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize