Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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