with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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