It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
