I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
