Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
