Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
