I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
